Socrates once said, "Know thyself."

I've been thinking about that a little bit over the last brief amount of time, and I can't quite decide what he means.
Know thyself is a sense of physical attributes?
Know thyself is a sense of capability?
Know thyself is a sense of mentality?
Know thyself is a sense of emotions?
Know thyself is a sense of character?
I can't seem to focus on one long enough to figure it out.  I know who I am in each of those respective areas alone, but when I try to mix and match them, I get lost.  Compilation of those particular sects often leads to conflicting outcomes and, to put it simply, plain nonsense.

Maybe I just need to really let go of things.  In trying to let go of everything, maybe I've really grabbed them tighter.  I just want to be left alone, but I desperately want attention.  I never know what to say when people say they care about me, but I want to hear it.  I find myself thinking about the past so much that I neglect the present, and worse, the future.  I've been stuck in a rut since September.  As far as I can tell: my friends are gone, my family's changing, school is even more meaningless to me, and the kicker, every girl I've like in the last 6 months has turned out to be a waste of time.
And to add to all of that:  it's not entirely their fault.  I've played a pretty big role in those things, as would make sense.


I feel rejected.
Neglected.
Tested.
Like I need my ass kicked to make me really, fully appreciate the gravity of what I've done.

most of all, I need to act like I've got a pair and just get on with it.