"I'm A Cloud"

And you will heal yourself when the rain begins to fall.
Feel the fire burning inside us all.
Remove me for going in unchained.
Blow away for yourself and gather again.
And, listen to the conversations of the sea.
Inside us all,
There's a quiet beach.
If we fall into ourselves we will become free.
I myself could use a little clarity.

I am so full of love.
I am so full of hate.
I am so full of these feelings
That turn me every which way.

I am so full of you.
I am so full of me.
I am so full of these words
That don't tell her a fucking thing.

I am so full of love.
I am so full of hate.
I am so full of these feelings
That tear me every which way.

Then I opened up my mouth.
I'm a cloud.
And these words, they seldom come out.
When I looked into her eyes, I cared enough to wonder why
She'd want a cloud that's *floating around.*
But I feel it's time to say goodbye to fear.
And feel the fury of these tears
As they run down my face
I can feel her so far away.

'Cause I am a cloud.
And I am so afraid.

I am so full of love.
I am so full of hate.
I am so full of these feelings
That tear me every which way.

So don't you come and gather at me in this haze.
I sit at home and feel the sun's daze.
I should tell me not to little everyday.
I blow away remaining unfazed.
When I feel the there's something crawling out of me
I'm just a cloud watching the moon rise.
These motherfuckers stepped on me,
and tried to fuck me from behind.

'Cause I am a cloud.
And I am so afraid.

And I... I am.
So... full of love.

I am so full of love.
I am so full of hate.
I am so full of these feelings
That turn me every which way.

I am so full of you.
I am so full of me.
I am so full of these words
That don't tell her a fucking thing.

I am so full of love.
I am so full of hate.
I am so full of these feelings
That turn me every which way.

I am... so full of love.
Love!

I am so full of love.
I am so full of hate.
I am so full of love.
I am so full of...

boy hits car = awesome.

But folks, let's look at that for a second and compare it to myself.  (aw come on, humor me)

"I'm a cloud.
And these words, they seldom come out.
When I looked into her eyes, I cared enough to wonder why
She'd want a cloud that's floating around."

That was me.  Was me.  The words inside still seldom come out, but after much nagging, I'm working on it.  Last time wasn't so great, so I can't blog about that anymore, but I am working on this whole "communicating my feelings" thing.  Anyway, I use to care enough to look into her eyes and wonder why a thousand other guys could never reach her, how could I have been the one?...that was before she went crazy.  That was before she turned into...her.  And she isnt a good person to be turning into, I might add.  So anyway, that gigantic personality change coupled with the fact that she'd be gone all summer and the places she went I couldn't trust her, and it inevitably caused the end.  Oh well, she wasn't who she was in the begninning anyway, and while I can't expect anyone to be the same after 6 months with no changes at all, that was one of those changes that never should have been made.

Sorry, I was up intil 2:30 talking to her, and I'd be willing to bet that she's having a little less fun in faraway Oregon right now, thanks to me.  Yes, thanks to.  Not because of.