Lately I've found myself wondering whether or not I should.
Should what?
Should or not.  I want to, and everything with that decision is all wonderful and happy, but then again, I don't want to cuz, well, I did make that promise to myself...however, if I were to vote "yes" then where would I be?  Generally pretty happy, especially with little upgrades here and there.  But I can't lie to myself; I can't break a promise to myself.  I have this thing with telling the truth and breaking promises, and if you're going to lie to yourself and break your own promises, what good are you?
Worthless.
Precisely.
So what of it?  I can see the benefits, and all the pros and cons, but what does it mean?
As of this moment, it means I get some freakin crazy dreams, and a lot of confusion and thinking to do.  I've also noticed that I spend more time thinking about yes and no, pro and con more than I spend thinking about things I should be thinking about.
So stop worrying what you should be doing and do what you want to.
If I do that, I'm screwed.  I wish there was some way to do both, and I think there is, but I can't do it.  That whole promise thing...
Do you want to?
Yes...no...yes?  Well, it's like...
Do you want to?
Yes.
Then why not?
I told myself not to.
I'm right here telling you to.
And I'm telling you to piss off.
You know you want to, so go for it.  Aren't you always the one who says "Do what you wanna do, don't worry about anything else.  Making yourself happy comes before all else" and crap like that?
Maybe...but so what?  That's got nothing to do with promises and telling the truth.
Does it have to?  You want to, obviously, so do.
But then again I don't.  I don't wanna get mixed up in that again.  It's too complicated and time-consuming.
But that's what you want.
Yeah.
That's confusing.
Yeah.
You know you need a plan.  And a back-up.
Can one have a back-up for this type of thing?
I'll bet you can.  You always do.
Good point.  Now that you mention it though, I don't need one.  It's one way or another, with no in-between.  There's no use for a back-up plan.  And with this one, the ball's sorta in my court.  Unfortunately, if I keep the promise, it'll be quite a while before anything can be set into motion, and by then it'll probably be too late.
Damn them for not permitting you to do that long ago.  That really has caused a lot more evil than it needed to have caused.
Indeed it has, but that's where I'm at, so I have to deal with it.  Thanks ya bloddy jerk-offs for impeding my plans, hopes, and dreams.  Anyway, not that the bitterness is over, let's focus on the task at hand.
Yes.
It's gonna drive me insane, but I'm gonna have to go with the "not" option for now.  Change my mind later?  Probably, but that's later; I've got time to think about it, and with the way things have been, time's the least of my worries.
Hmmm.  Good talk.
Yeah.