know what else I hate? Myself.
I love skating though....that right there keeps a guy goin' when the goin' gets tough.
Next on the agenda, we have some sweet Sum41:
What's the difference of never knowing at all? When every step I take is always too small. Maybe it's just something I can't admit but lately, I feel like I don't give a shit. Motivation such an aggravation, Accusations don't know how to take them. Inspiration's getting hard to fake it. Concentration's never hard to brake it. Situation never what you want it to be. What's the point of never making mistakes? Self-indulgence is such a hard habit to brake. It's all just a waste of time in the end. I don't care so why should I even pretend. \ Motivation such an aggravation, Accusations don't know how to take them. Inspiration's getting hard to fake it. Concentration's never hard to brake it. Situation never what you want it. Nothing's new, everything's the same. It keeps on dragging me down, it's getting kind of lame. I'm falling further behind, there's nothing to explain. No matter what you say nothing 's gonna change my mind. Can't pretend on doubt until the end. It seems like leaving friends has become This years trend and though I can't pretend. It's not the same but who's to blame, For all those stupid things I never said. Motivation such an aggravation, Accusations don't know how to take them. Inspiration's getting hard to fake it. Concentration's never hard to brake it. Situation never what you want it to be. Never what you want it to be.
ever get that vibe? I do...a lot lately. I have to force myself out of bed in the morning. I have to beat myself over the head in order to even open my eyes. It's so worthless...ever forget where you're going in life? ever feel like there's nothing you can do to satisfy some inner need you don't understand? I feel like....I don't know. I just feel. It's not being pulled in any direction, I jsut feel. and it's strong. It's almost like this overwhelming feeling of existance, you know? That doesn't really make much sense....
It's like realizing that for your entire life, you're not really living, but slowly, slowly dying. From that point on, you're just thinkin "what's the point?" and you just start to physiclaly feel your own mortality. You've probably never felt this before, and I hope you never have to. It's so....huge. So consuming. Midnight skate sessions, feeling so alive, so energized, and then the high wears off and I feel so...feeling-ful ( <--- not a word). Like a tidal wave of blankness sweeping over the island that is me and just smothering it with waves of carelessness. I'm so off-balance...so raped of everything I thought previously. There's no past, no present, no future....merely a short existance on a dismal little planet hurling through time and space like a man on a mission. There's so much rhythm and monotony....nothing new, nothing exciting. The worst part is when I realize all the things I'll never do...the things I've always wanted to do, had an obsession with, strived for....all meaningless. Meaningless to me, at any rate. There's absolutely nothing I can do about it, which is so opposite my general view on life. Like I said, I've been raped of my normal realm of thought.
